C?!?

See! I can do it right now!!!

Feeneys et al

Walked for a few hours around town. Feels strange to see home through the eyes of a visitor. But tom is great and so is this town. Now it's time for food and fun.

Waiting

I keep looking around as if I might recognize someone. I live in a city of 5 million and and Maine has half that. But still, I am hopeful.

Wow

What an amazingly beautiful day!!!

Nothing better to do

I guess you can say it went...ok. That's about all I really know. It felt good but there is this air of uncertainty that I know is going to keep me up at night. I think that's the hard part of any new experience: the mixture of equal parts self confidence and unmitigated anxiety. Everyday can feel like the first time you jump out of an airplane.

I have done my part.

The rest is waiting.

An amazing thing

So I was sitting in the airport enjoying my $15 veggie wrap, which had been prepared somewhere between 15 and 37 hours before I had the pleasure of consuming it, wondering why I had done this alone.

I am almost never alone anymore. It feels strange to be surrounded by strangers; there is no face I recognize. The seat beside me is empty or filled with an unfamiliar face. Even on this plane, seat belt low at tight at my waist and hurtling at some unintelligible speed through the night, the only comfort I have is the familiar anxiety that I carry inside.

Normally, in a situation like this I would call someone: my wife, some friend, someone. Or turn on NPR to hear Bob Edward's slow cinder or Sedaris' shuffling lisp. But here I am at twenty five thousand feet with only the scratchy satellite radio. Woe is me.

So this is what I've decided to do, this mobile journal that is neither private or public, written to you whom everything I write is dedicated. It's an amazing thing that as I sit here at the end if this lonely hypotenuse I can still reach out to you.

It would be obtuse of me to think that this connection is enough to keep us together. I need to be right and steadfast. And although my loneliness may be a cut ever so deep, I will take comfort in my cold and empty bed knowing that when I am back your warmth will have increased tenfold.

So there it is and here I am, speaking to you across the ether. I will let you into mind for the next 48 hours. I will make your eyes see what I see. I will make your ears hear those sounds deep in the night that no man should hear. I will touch you across the miles.

Or I will die trying.

j